Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Manga

Who would have ever thought that I would lose sleep over mangoes?

Yesterday, I lay in bed by 10:40 pm. By midnight, I was still awake. I thought, since 12 - 1 am was my normal bedtime, I just had a few more minutes to wake before the sandman arrives. 2:37am, I was still awake. Something was wrong. 4:14am, nothing.

That night, I drank two glasses of ripe mango shake with honey and ate a cheek of a ripe mango two hours before laying my head down to sleep. I don't normally eat mangoes this late in the day, but they were so delicous.

Mangoes are sugar. Complex sugars from fruit provide more energy to the body than caffiene. In fact, it has been recommended to take it before a show instead of coffee or candy bars for a more lasting and stable energy boost. Hence, It was probably 5am when I finally dozed off.

Shucks, it's a lesson learned for me. Never again will I have that much mangoes when I am in dire need of sleep. :P

Friday, March 21, 2008

Sing Me A Birdsong from Across the Universe

'Across the Universe,' a film directed by Julie Taymor, and 'Birdsong,' a novel by Sebastian Faulks, have little in common. Both, however, strike the same chord.



'Across the Universe' is a movie that delves into the lives of Jude, Lucy and their friends exploring themes that range from love, freedom and American Imperialism. The movie is an impressive piece by Julie Taymor set in the 1960's -- A time of counterculture with people going against norms. The plot begins with Jude jumping ship to America to find his father at Princeton. Jude is disheartened to find his father, a janitor, with a family and uninterested. He falls in with rich-kid Max and finds himself drawn to Lucy, Max's sister. Max, tired of all the "What are you going to do with your life?" atmosphere at home, journeys to New York taking Jude along. There, they hook up in with singer Jadie, guitarist Jojo, and lesbian Prudence. Lucy joins them, later on, after her boyfriend dies in the Vietnam War. The characters go through the whole gamut of living in this free city. Jude and Lucy get together. Jude draws and Lucy fights to stop the war. Max, despite his efforts contrary, gets drafted to the military. Sadie falls in love with Jojo. And Prudence finds herself wanting Sadie and not knowing what to do. The characters want things, get and don't get what they want and, ultimately, gain and lose things along the way. All this happens to the perfectly apt and wonderfully sang Beatles songs and Julie Taymor's beautifully imagined Strawberry Fields.



'Birdsong' is a novel that centers mostly on Stephen Wraysford, an Englishman who spends most of the important or at least life-altering parts of his life in France. The book is divided in to seven chapters set in three different time frames: pre-World War I (1910), World War I (1916-1918) and sixty years later (1978-79). It begins pre-World War I with an erotic and adulterous love-affair between Stephen and Isabel Azaire. They elope together but Isabel eventually leaves him to return to her family. At this point, she is carrying a child Stephen will never know existed 'til the later part of his life. The book then moves on to the bulk of its plot, Stephen and World War I. Faulks brilliantly tells the story a man and other men caught in the most horrible human device, war, and its horrors. Fear, death and simple joys riddle the pages of this novel. Stephen survives this war and goes on to lead a quiet life with his daughter and Jeanne, Isabelle's sister, whom he marries. To add an epic flavor to the novel, Elizabeth Benson is Stephen's granddaughter in search of her grandfather's past. Faulks' prose is simple yet hold great strength in painting images in the mind and heart of a reader.

For me, both movie and novel are pieces of art that ingenuously depict how lives mean more than just one moment. The lives of all the characters are fraught with dilemmas left and right as to what to do -- What is right and what is wrong. Jude is jealous of the time Lucy devotes to an activist and his movement. Max is fraught over his parents whose idea of a good life is having a degree and making money, having to join a war he doesn't believe in and maybe losing his life over it. Lucy devotes her time to fighting a war that killed her boyfriend, may kill her brother and is disheartened to find the activist leader making a bomb himself. Sadie is being asked to drop Jojo and go solo to further her career. Stephen is an orphan, left by the only woman he loved, and saw tens of thousands die in one day at the Battle of the Somme and Messines Ridge at Ypres, France. Stephen leads a band of men who receive care packages with a letter saying their son died, have lice in their clothes and hair, and deal with the smell of death and the sound of bombs and shelling everyday. Isabel wants to be loved and love in return without scandal. Jeanne wants to reach out to a man made cold and distant by the war and by unrequited love. Elizabeth discovers the sacrifices of previous generations, and is impregnated by a man who can never be hers.

I appear to be ranting, but, in fact, I am raving about how the characters in the novel and movie resemble real life. They all clamor for redemption. In their idealism, the characters threaten the utopias they strive to create, and the stories become more interesting and three-dimensional because of this. They never really achieve in full what they want. Everything comes in bits and in parcels. In the end, they all find themselves not where they want to be but where they should be.

The true strength of novel and movie lies in illustrating humanity. No matter how flawed we all are, we are still heroes. Heroes are people who "in the face of danger and adversity or from a position of weakness, display courage and the will for self-sacrifice." The characters of both the novel and book exemplify this. Jude fights to save Lucy, gets deported, but finds himself back to claim the love they shared. Max doesn't shirk from his duties, goes out to fight for what his country believes in, and calls Jude back to claim his love. Sadie shares the mic, stage, and her life with Jojo. Lucy learns to forgive. Jude's father makes a turn around and declares Jude his son and offers help. Stephen tries to help a friend and a comrade and fights for a brighter future he never thought he'd believe in. Isabelle faced ridicule and shame in going back to her family to do what is right. Jeanne despite her beliefs is always ready to aid her sister and, later on, slowly restores a broken man back to life. Elizabeth is grateful for what her mother and predecessors sacrificed and finds herself willing and wanting to sacrifice for the next generation.

Both book and movie end well. The last picture in the book is Elizabeth giving birth and, for the movie, it is Jude with friends on the rooftop singing to Lucy "All You Need is Love." Cliche as it sounds, that is what we all need-- Love. In the end, all the characters find themselves going home. To the people they have made sacrifices for. And to the people that have sacrificed for them.


Thursday, March 20, 2008

Torture

I wanna write about the movie "Across the Universe" and the book "Birdsong." I wanna go to my friends condo and swim. I wanna go to my apartment and get my flashdrive. I wanna upload some photos onto multiply. I wanna eat sinigang sa bayabas.

But right now, my brain and body feel dull. I have to exert little effort in doing anything. I'm at my antipolo home mostly in bed or just sitting across a tv or a computer screen. I'm too spaced out to organize my thoughts and pictures to post photos and blog. I have to drink my antibiotics. I'm stuck eating rice porridge (lugaw), mashed and moist vegetables, and bread softened in milk.

Yesterday, I had an impacted wisdom tooth extracted and the dentist had to take the tooth beside it, too. Compounding my dilemmas is a sore throat, cough and colds. Hence, i'm avoiding ice cream (a treat for those with tooth extractions) so as not to aggravate my throat. The third complication, as if two were not enough, was low-sugar. I had hypoglycemia (that's what the dentist said) after my surgery. I felt like i was on the brink of collapsing and had the impulse to just hit anything solid close by.

This wisdom tooth extraction was something my dentist wanted to do a year ago, but i didn't have the time due to my dancing commitments. Somehow, one could say this to be my lenten penitence. A gruelling, tortuous experience colored red by blood.

Today, I feel a little bit better. I'm just glad this is my last impacted tooth. I wouldn't know how to deal with the next. They'd have to strap me in the chair, put me to sleep, then give me really strong anesthesia and pain killers galore.

P.S. I cried yesterday. I wondered whether my brother experienced this much pain or more before he died. I hope not.
P.P.S. The song from Little Shop of Horrors kept running through my brain. About the villain, Orin, boyfriend of Audrey, who likes to inflict pain. His mother noticing his sadist tendencies advices him to "Be a Dentist"

You'll be a dentist
You have a talent for causing things pain
Son, be a dentist
People will pay you to be inhumane
Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist
You'll be a success

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Latin Heat




This is our last show for this season. Then, we change artistic directors and open our next show on September pa. So, if you have time, watch us this week or else you'll have to wait long. Send me a message here or SMS (if you know my cell) for tickets. You may also contact the office. The numbers are at the end of this entry..


Ballet Philippines dares everyone to come and join them as they sizzle and gyrate their way to celebrate the arrival of the long, hot summer with Latin Heat.


The sounds of South America take center stage as Ballet Philippines ends its 38th season with the sensual, flamboyant rhythms of the salsa, rhumba, bossa nova, reggae, and Caribbean music. Envision images of hot, languid days at the beach and sultry nights embraced by passion and desire.

Latin Heat confirms why we Filipinos are dubbed as the Latin Americans of South East Asia as Ballet Philippines promises a scorching evening of passionate dancing. Expect the dancers of Ballet Philippines revealing some flesh, their sinewy forms and packed bodies will definitely tease and tantalize lovers of dance who will surely remember this performance for a long time.


Latin Heat will be performed from March 14-16 at the Cultural Center of the Philippines Little Theater.

For more information, please call 551-0221, 551-1003 or 832-6011 or email balletphilippines@pldtdsl.net



Sunday, February 24, 2008

Triple Threat Comment From Teacher Kets' Site

melaniemotus said

Ang masasabi ko lang ay to be an actor is to be a dancer and a singer also. Why don't Filipinos get this kind of training? I would assume that actors in UP pretty much get the whole picture due to their kind of exposure, but they still fall short somehow? How come actors from West End or Broadway have a more wholistic approach? Can't Filipinos have the same?

Dami ko namang tanong. : )

pjrebullida wrote today at 8:31 AM, edited today at 8:54 AM

an actor-dancer-singer is what we call a triple threat in theater.

i used to aspire to this. hence, as an actor, i took lessons in voice, singing, acting and dance. it is however expensive take all three lessons. there are hardly scholarships in these fields. i was blessed to have a scholarship in dance (c/o Steps Dance Studio), but for the others i had to shell out 500-1000 pesos per one-on-one session. It takes a high level of commitment to juggle the time needed and the budget.

My lessons payed off and, before I left acting for dance, I had reached a level of competency. However, I turned out to be more of a dancer than actor or singer. I can attribute this to having a scholarship that required me to take 6 to 10 classes a week plus the exposure I received in dance productions. When you compare this to once a week voice lessons and acting lessons only when I am rehearsing a play, one can see why i chose to dance.

i believe actors in the Philippines are not triple threats because of three reasons. One, not all actors have the luxury to get all they need to hone their craft. Two, Laziness and Complacency. And, third, a false pride (yabang na kaya na nila lahat). Of course, the Philippines has its fair share of triple threats but not so many.

After my career turning out, in, and everything in between, I plan to go back to acting with a more "wholistic" approach. But for now, I have the luxury of being a full-fledged dancer.

===== i think i did more than answer your questions. i answered my own.




Sunday, February 10, 2008

Theory of Choice

I used to espouse a theory of choice. That what happens to us is based on the choices we make. We can choose to be happy or sad whether the situation is good or bad. In the end, we should be able to make the best of the worst and, in stupid choices, the worst of the best. As of late, my thinking has been changed.

Such elementary words. Happy and Sad. Good and Bad. But, real. They inhabit every moment of our lives. We cannot control these feelings and circumstances. No matter how adamant we are on choosing.

However, this is not foolproof. There are those rare instances when the choices we make prove to make the best of the best and of the worst. Therein, lies my hope and faith.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Wondering Poetry

by Patrick John Rebullida
Warning: These are melancholy...

Wondering
Dec 29, 2007

My feet feel the damp grass
Beside an unlit metal tree
In an alcove of wood and glass
Where a boy in a man lives free

Above the quiet, songs are sung
Tales of woe and love in frivolity wrung
Time is spent wandering
Below the high moon
Wondering
What will be revealed soon?

The Way I See
Jan 12, 2008


The way I see is blurred in an ocean of debris
A mass of sharps and flats in an unknown key
The family of five turned seven then six
Bids farewell to him who crossed the River Styx

Hours and days rid themselves of meaning
Turn into monotones of white, black and nothing
The sum product of toil on hard mantles
Fail to soften and mold broken angles

Glorious machinations leave me bewildered
Loss can't be fathomed, is never considered
Each day is numbered, all the hours
What's mine and yours was never ours

The way of the earth must be accepted
for both the consecrated and unconsecrated
An existence I question, follow and reckon
When all I wanted and need is redemption

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

my brother

JR, my brother, will lie in wake at F. Paket Santiago Memorial Homes (13 V. Gomez St., San Roque, Marikina --near Our Lady of the Abandoned Chruch) starting tom noon, Nov 22, til he is buried at Loyola on Monday. He died of complications after an operation on his Aorta and heart. He had Marfans Syndrome which caused the problem.

Through all this, God has been good and continues to bless our family. Praise be to God!

Friday, November 02, 2007

Electrical Impulses to the Brain

A few moments ago, I was watching my 3 month old nephew. He was quietly lying down on my brother's lap. Quietly. A contented state of being. And I wondered what he was thinking.

I rarely see adults in this quiet and contented manner. I have rare moments like him but most of the time I ponder on what I've done, what I should have done and should do and dream of what I want and need. I am sure many feel the same way. Babies hold this secret of contentment adults have lost as the years went by.

How do we get a hold of this secret? I thought of brain impulses. We can study what electrical impulses happen in an adult's brain when we think or do things. Once we have a vocabulary of impulses that translate into concrete ideas, we can monitor the pattern of electrical impulses that happen in a baby's brain. With this power, we can find out what the secret is and learn how to be content.

I doubt this would be possible. We can be content like a baby if our needs and wants were the same. It would be as simple as being fed, clothed, changed when we poop or pee, sleeping, a little play time, and being cradled and loved. Unfortunately, our needs and wants are as vast and as innumerable as the fish in the sea. We don't even know what we want and need at times.

We just have to be grateful for what we have. For this knowledge, I am grateful. For my family and friends, I am grateful. For my gifts and talents from above, I am grateful. For my aspirations and the path ahead of me, I am grateful.

In being grateful, I can be content and quiet.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

2 families

I have 2 families. Steps and BP.

Last weekend, I was so thrilled that they topped the NAMCYA Regionals. 9 entries made it to the finals and kicked ass for the judges. Congratulations to McCoy, Madge, Chabi and Karla from Steps and Nelson, Ceasar, Victor, Philip and Janine from BP. All five from BP made it. I'll be cheering you on for the finals.

Funny anecdote-- During the rollcall for those who made it, the judges forgot to call Madge. Boy, were her nerves wrecked. Worse was her mother. We had to remind the judges that they missed one candidate. Her mother broke down after it was announced that Madge made it. It was a great and funny feeling...

Check out the pics for highlights of the announcements.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Do You Hear The People Sing?




You're Les Miserables!

by Victor Hugo

One of the best known people in your community, you have become
something of a phenomenon. People have sung about you, danced in your honor, created all
manner of art in your name. And yet your story is one of failure and despair, with a few
brief exceptions. A hopeless romantic, you'll never stop hoping that more good will come
from your failings than is ever possible. Beware detectives and prison guards bearing
vendettas.



Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Double Takes

Sa Loob ng Isang Oras

Sa loob ng isang oras
walang kaligayahan
sa salamin na kaibigan at tuso rin

Sa loob ng isang oras
umaapaw ang pawis
bumibilis ang pintig ng mga pusong bitin

Sa loob ng isang oras
dalawang utak ay iisa
ngunit walang gustong pumansin

Sa loob ng isang oras
pinipilit ang puso at isip
na gawa ay mahalin

Sa loob ng isang oras
walang umaatras
bawat isa doble ang aanihin

Message From Kit-Kit

My dear peej, I think you are in the age where your idealism is at its height. That's great! You keep questioning the world around us. It's not just in dance that there's a lack of love. The dance world just manifests the times we are in. But ain't it great that despite this fact, dance makes us feel our humanity. Even with a company where you feel lack of love, never feel alone. Your fellow seekers are always with you in spirit. Be Strong!

Monday, August 06, 2007

Baby Laugh

Babies are so beautiful. They have the power to remind you of all the good things in life. Like laughter.

Yesterday, I greeted my nephew as his mom was changing his diaper. He had just taken a crap and I was admiring his cute little butt. And, with my face a few inches away from that cute little butt, he sent a volley of feces soaring through the air. It missed my face and that of the mom's by a mere few inches. This left us in fits of laughter that echoed for several long minutes. The whole family was enjoined in this riotous moment reminiscent of the time when i peed directly into my godfather's mouth. Kharma.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Journal and Blog

I have a new journal. It's the pen and ink kind. It was a gift and since I began writing there I haven't had the need the go on-line and create a new post. Sad because I feel like I've neglected this blog. The journal is handier hence I get to write more there. Nevertheless, I plan to keep this blog whether I repost from the journal or create blog only entries. Today, I am reposting one of my journal entries.

Heavy Hand

how come the tides change so fast
when there is no wind to carry them
no current strong enough
and the moon remains still?

a heavy hand has scooped the salt of the earth
from unknown regions
into the bay
flooding the land
rendering most it's occupants powerless

Solomon's heir will defend himself
with honor and integrity
and, when he is ready, fly
fly to the Elysian Fields
where the dancer is revered
far from the reach of that heavy hand.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Friends

My friends are amazing. They think of you and what is best for you without even asking them. I never really understood the importance of friends and what they mean to one until recently.

I was betrayed by a friend way back in elementary. And I think that is where the fear stemmed from. Since then, I have been quite wary of people. The trust I placed on people was very shallow. Things are different now.

Over a decade ago, i thought i didn't need them. Today, they keep me going like oxygen. I need them. And I am happy that I have them. To them, I am most grateful.

Monday, July 02, 2007

To be taken seriously and Not to be taken seriously

A woman had us, dancers, over for dinner. A dinner of Via Mare Pancit Luglug, Roasted Corned Beef, Bibingka, Puto Bumbong, and Music. Yes, Music. It was her recital. This woman was the swan flitting over the strings of her harp. Her teacher was at the piano and the man with a golden flute played his instrument.

After enjoying halo-halo in the cool outdoors, we had to shuttle indoors due to rain. Inside her den, I found myself in a conversation with the man with the golden flute. On the coffee table was a broken music box. "He could fix it," he said and claimed he could fix a lot of things. I told him, "I'd be his next customer if he could fix my life." He replied by saying something to this effect, "I could fix it. Why what's wrong with it?" I was stunned. My statement was meant to be a joke. He was serious. I told him that just like everyone a lot was wrong with it and that eventually led to a discussion about choices and making them.

In truth, I wanted to take his offer. Then and there. But I knew... I mean... know that he is straight. Well, supposedly. I blew it in that den. I should have seen where he would go if at the least I pretended to take his offer. He could have taken me seriously. I would have.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Somedays....

Somedays, even if i don't have everything I want, it seems like I've got everything i could possibly want.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Stop, Peej! Stop!

I wanted to report many things.

Success in the studio. A unique tryst in the hills of Antipolo. My financial fiasco. My co-dancer's angst. My own frustrations. My mother's temperament and my father's cool. The long trips home then moving house. A friend's departure for better opportunities. A lost friend regained. An acquaintance whom i don't want to befriend. A friend's cheerfulness. My own cheerfulness. My tired body. New projects. Old projects.

The list could go on. Honestly, I don't know where to start. It would be easier if I wrote on a daily basis. But due to lack of time and immediate access to the Net, I cannot.

It just seems that the whole world seems to be happening around me. And I have no control over most factors. This must be the case for everyone. Surely. And it used to bother me that I didn't have control over aspects of my life. Today, I can firmly say it's OK. I know where I am headed and whether I get there or not will be a story to tell. A story worth telling. A story worth living.

Thus, I am happy to report that I am broke but living my life. Despite being an Apprentice, It seems that I will have substantial exposure in the upcoming BP show. I moved to a new apartment today. I was able to catch up with a good friend from college and get to know my BP friends more intimately. I was with family yesterday and we brought our mom to the airport. I have a new DVD player from my Grandparents. Tomorrow, I start choreography for the Dance School. I was able to read two books in a week. My flexibility has increased. Three of my friends are in the US dancing the time of their life. And last Saturday, I did quadruple pirouettes in three successions. That I need to replicate consistently.

There's more but I'm stopping there. I stopped to thank God for my blessings.

Monday, June 04, 2007

tagalog homework

Ipu-ipo
for Rofel and the Casa San Pablo Friends

kakaiba ang mga pangyayari kung bumisita ang ipu-ipong
mabilis maglaho
at nag-iiwan ng malalalim na bakas ng kanyang lakas
ang mga halaman at puno ay lumuluhod
ang mga ulap ay naglalaho't nagtatago
at ang tao ay napupuno ng takot na mahagip
at di na muling makabalik
umuwi

ngunit
may hindi sila alam

ang sumama sa sayaw ng ipu-ipo
lumipad at umikot nang umikot
lumundag
hanapin ang gitna
hanapin ang lupa
hanapin ang ulap
sabay-sabay

pagkatapos mong sumayaw
pwede ka nang magising
at masayang umuwi